Juicing Beets Was a Terrible Idea and Here’s Why

New Years Is Almost here! The time of year, where we all decide to try and better ourselves however eventually bacon seems to corner us back to the way we were in a couple of days. I’ve decided/was forced in to trying out a 3 days Juicing Beets “Plan” and decided to write out my thoughts during the whole process.. If your loved one is planning this out for you, start filing divorce/disownment paperwork.

There are probably a lot of vegetables that you saw as a child that you tried to avoid eating at all costs. More than likely, if you were like many other children, there was probably a long list of vegetables that you never really learned to appreciate much. It could be because of the way they were cooked, the way the smelled or the way the felt or tasted when you bit into them, but you never liked them and that may have carried into your adulthood. Now that you are older and wiser, you have a greater understanding not only of how important vegetables are for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but that there are more ways than ever before for you to get your vegetables, even ones you may not have liked much in the past, into your system. For most people, this is the case with beets and juicing beets has proven to be the best way for many to not only get this vegetable, but to enjoy it as well. *However It still tastes like ass and I mean It was AWFUL. But that rough texture making my Juicer scream like a little bitch was fun to watch.*

Beets have always had something of a bad reputation. They have a very particular odor when they are being cooked, they bleed all over your plate when you cut into them and they even look unappealing when they are raw. With all of these strikes against the beet, it is no wonder so many people get turned off by them. However, the beet and the beet juice from the vegetable are one of the healthiest things that you could ever ingest for yourself. *It tastes like a dirty old sock dipped in expired nacho dip. When it’s going down your throat, you feel defiled and remember all that bullshit you were putting in your body during your younger years, and slowly dread the fact that how now you have to drink crap like this to get by.*

It has been found that beet juice has a long list of wonderful properties that make it good for you and that beet juice ranks right up there with likes of blueberries and salmon as one of the healthiest things you could ever eat. Beet juice is known to be rich in dietary nitrates, something that many people may ever even have heard of but can be very beneficial to you. These nitrates help to improve blood flow in your body, which in turn can help to keep your blood pressure down. It is well known that a lower blood pressure is essential to overall good health today, especially when it comes to avoiding cardiovascular disease, heart attacks and strokes. The nitrates in the beet juice are converted into nitric oxide, which is the compound that is needed to enhance the overall blood flow in the body. *You begin to ask yourself that maybe having a heart attack or stroke may just be better than chugging this awful crap. Blueberries and Salmon taste fucking great, Beets taste not so good but it has Nitric oxide, Which has to mean Nitrous, so Nitrous for your body yo! ( Just Kidding, Maybe I’m Not.)*

Beets are also known to be rich in antioxidants. The properties of beet juice have shown in studies to prevent some oxidative processes that have been known to lead to certain diseases that can be degenerative. The beet juice can be a contributing factor to warding off some stress-related diseases and cancers thanks to the properties that they have. Beet juice is also thought to contribute to better overall physical endurance and performance. The nitrates found in the beet juice help to reduce the amount of oxygen uptake an individual can experience during exercise, allowing you to exercise longer and more efficiently because you will get less tired during your workout thanks to the beet juice. *Why can’t Bacon be considered an Antioxidant? Why can’t pancakes, gummy bears, golden grams, pop-tarts, twix, and pop-tarts be a contributing factor to warding off some stress-related diseases and cancers? Why is my wife forcing me to drink this, why does she constantly state that i should live longer? I wonder if i could Juice Bacon? Juicing bacon sounds like a pretty good idea, mix it in while juicing beets may actually be beneficial.*

While raw beets themselves are rich in all kinds of vitamins and nutrients, such as vitamin C, potassium, folate, fiber and more eating beets will not provide you with all of the wonderful benefits that you can get from drinking beet juice. When beets are cooked, many of the nitrates and nutrients are deteriorated or cooked away, so you lose out on a lot of the benefits that you could be getting. While eating beets is still healthy for you, beet juice is a better alternative. You can also get all of the great properties from the vegetable while avoiding many of the features of beets that people do not enjoy. Many have longed complained about the texture of beets or the flavor of cooked beets. When you are juicing beets, you will not have to deal with any of these issues as you only will get the liquid and nutrients that have been extracted from the vegetable. You also will not have to deal with much of the fiber that is found in beets, which make them difficult for many people to digest, another reason people get turned off by them. The juicing process eliminates much of the fiber content so you get the juice only in its purest form. * Whoever came up with the idea of juicing beets is a complete dick. I like juicing carrots, I like Juicing apples, Juicing beets and mixing it with vodka wasn’t the best idea. I did however wake up remembering nothing, so that was nice.*

If you are considering adding beet juice to your diet, there are a few things you should know first when you are making it and drinking it. Even though beets are known to be naturally high in natural sugars, they are not sweet at all. This is especially true in their raw form. For this reason, many people choose to add other vegetables or fruit to their beet juice to give it a bit of sweetness. Carrots or an apple can go a long way in giving just the right touch of sweetness. Also, beets are a tough root vegetable, so you may want to consider cutting them into smaller pieces before putting them in your juicer as they can be tough on some juicers and difficult to handle if you try to put them in whole or in large pieces. Lastly, if you have never had beet juice before, then you need to be prepared for what happens. The beets have a very powerful ruby red dye to them and this dye will be passed along to you and come out in your urine and stool so do not be alarmed by the results.*I’ve just shit out a small village’s worth of crap. No I’m not kidding, It’s in this weird tangy color and every-time i drink this crap more and more seems to want to come out, smells like burnt rubber and whale vomit. I can actually hear the child inside of me cry.  I may have backed up the sewer system, I should start crapping on my neighbors lawn, he’s such a douche.*

Juicing beets is a great way for you to add a vegetable to your diet that is very rich and proven to be a good weapon to fight off potential health problems and diseases. With so many great features to beet juice, it should become a regular part of your diet and even just ingesting as little as one cup a day can begin to have significant effects on your blood flow, blood pressure and overall health. * I’m sure it does wonders for you, I’m sure after your juicing diet is  filled with beets, you begin to fly like superman, I’m sure there are kids in Africa who would love to drink beet juice. I don’t like it and probably never will. I’ve mixed this crap with everything sweet I could find, still tastes like old gum that was scrapped off a shoe. But for all your crazies out there, here is a recipe you could try out.*

Tastes like crap but ehh, what can you do…

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